Drumming up support

In the 1980s there were some huge disasters: Chernobyl, the famine in Ethiopia and Flock of Seagulls. You can imagine the international disaster committee's consternation - what should be done? Well, clearly there was only one answer. Duran Duran were called in to save the world. The first question was how to prevent people all over the world from being contaminated by the nuclear fallout from Chernobyl? The answer, simple. Nick Rhodes led by example donning a white suit (proven to repel any plutonium residues) and John Taylor inspiring the world to protect themselves from black rain by the simple solution of wearing a trilby over a massive mullet. And so, the world lived another day.

Secondly, Duran Duran single mindedly ended all famine (well, not quite) by being leaders of the free world. Uniting the world in song. They sang 'Feed the World' and the world was fed. Amply fed. Look at pictures of Simon le Bon from about 1986 if you need any proof. In my local museum there is a whole wing dedicated to this. Ok, maybe it's one leaflet. But still.

However, for a few traumatic hours in 1985 the entire world was on tenterhooks. Ask anyone what they remember about 1985 and their response is almost certain to be - wondering whether Simon le Bon was going to be saved from his capsized sailing ship, Drum. I believe that the UN was convened that night and whichever pontiff was Top of the Popes at the time was asked to intercede with the Boss. And if Bruce Springsteen was busy, maybe the deity? And if Nick Rhodes was busy ... (ok, I'll stop now). Anyway, Simon was saved. As was the world.

And now, ever one to laugh in the face of danger and Slimfast, Simon is trying to save the world again. This time fellow members of the Duran sorority you must be ready for Sunday 8th March 2009, 10pm BBC2 'High Altitude' where Simon Le Bon and his brother Jonny, will visit a frozen lake in Sweden in a quest for sailing supremacy - on ice. They will fly across the ice on catamarans at speeds of up to 100kph in an exhilarating - and potentially very dangerous competition. Why, you ask? Well clearly, the apocalyptic ice age demonstrated by The Day After Tomorrow is about to happen and Simon's been shoed in to find a way to fight the freeze.

Duran Duran save the world. Again.

Last Chance on the Stairway

Somehow I have allowed nearly three weeks to pass since I was in the presence of Simon le Bon's arse and have not blogged about it. My excuse is that I was too overwhelmed by the wonder of the entire experience to write about it; I needed a substantial gap in proximity and time to reflect on the event in order to achieve any sort of critical autonomy. In fact I've just been majorly lazy.

On arrival we went to our seats to find that we had been moved from the rear of the stadium to the very front where I had a side-view of Simon's rear throughout. Hurrah! The gentleman in question is in one of his rather inflated periods but I feel that just gives you more to grab on to. If you're Yasmin. Curses.

Unfortunately Duran Duran are a serious musical outfit who release new albums. This meant the audience had to sit politely through all the new 'Red Carpet Massacre' stuff before standing up and howling dementedly at 'Wild Boys'. Hurrah, we thought, the 80s hits juggernaut is back on the highway of outstanding wonderfulness. Or maybe we didn't.

The highlight of the evening for me was the electro section where they did 'Last Chance on the Stairway'. My co-Duranie and I howled through that like the mistral over the southern Languedoc. Now there's a simile you don't expect to find in an almost completely unread Duran blog.

The demographic of the audience was quite specialist. Frankly, the only people younger than 33 were the children of hardcore Duranies. There were so many late 30s women in the auditorium that the smell of oestrogen and failing pelvic floors was palpable.

So, I have worshipped at the temple of Duran again. Man, it was good.

Just like Duran Duran in 1986..

I have decided to set up a side project.

Rather than drafting in Wayne Curcurillo and starting Arcadia or the Power Station I am starting a Duranie blog.

This will involve all of the following themes:
(1) rabid obsessing about Simon le Bon's outstanding ability to wear trousers
(2) screeching
(3) Quoting Duran lyrics in a reverent manner
(4) Counting down to the next time I will be in the same Arena (see what I did there?) as Simon's trousers (c/ref point 1)
(5) Quasi-intellectual musings on the quality and quantity of figurative language in Duran lyrics. But not from the shit 90s albums.

There may well be some wholly unecessary Andy-baiting involved.

There is almost certainly going to be a great deal of linking to Duran stuff on the web. If I can learn how to do that. Whether anyone apart from me (and one particular friend in Aberford) will enjoy this remains to be seen.

But then nobody liked Arcadia or the Power Station. Apart from me.