Christmas Pilgrimage

At this time of year people start defaulting to extended metaphors to explain some message of great significance. Across places of worship the darkening solstice gloom is pierced by the illumination of joy, singing and important messages.

On Saturday I undertook an important pilgrimage with a pregnant lady. Much as Joseph carefully led Mary to the stable or the three Wise Men trotted across the desert, we too travelled far for a divine revelation. Yea, we travelled to Newcastle and verily we did worship Duran Duran.

Is it going too far to claim Simon le Bon has messianic qualities? Sure, he had a time in the wilderness this summer when he lost his voice and all of creation fretted he would never sing again. He was, um, baptised into Duran Duran by John. And I can't think of any more far-fetched and faintly blasphemous correlations.

So, in the deep midwinter to Newcastle did we trek and there we feasted on the miracle that is Duran Duran.

Merry Christmas Duranies everywhere and god bless every one. Except Slutty Sandra who introduced Simon le Bon in an overly forward manner and who is now cast forever in the role of Duranie Mary Magdalen.

Friday night

BBC4 is rightly the home of highbrow entertainment. A veritable cornucopia of classical music and books you should have read on your lit degree but you never did.

This week highlights include programmes on War Heroes, Michael Portillo and the 1956 Hungarian Revolution. Saucy.

However, on Friday, the brow will be higher than Sylvester Stone's mother's facelift.

10pm - the making of the classic album 'Rio'
10.55pm 'Wild Boys: The Story of Duran Duran'

When old John Logie Baird invented the tellybox he could never have foreseen how important it would be to keep people apprised of major historical events of the 20th century. The Hungarian revolution, the World Wars, John Taylor's t-shirt in the 'Rio' video.




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Happy International Duran Duran Appreciation Day

Heck, isn't every day?



By the way I'm writing this in January and scheduling it to appear on August 10th in case I'm too overcome by alcohol / emotion / Roger to post.

Ashes to Ashes

Go here. Choose Duran Duran. Enjoy.

The world in all his fire

These past two weeks I have been sat in a very sumptuous hotel, high on a promontory overlooking the Bay of Naples and Mount Vesuvius. For those who have momentarily forgotten their ancient history in AD 79 Vesuvius erupted and wiped out all but the name of the city of Pompeii for the best part of two millennia. The views are spectacular (as are the pasta dishes).







Now, ever the culture vulture I have undertaken a thorough examination of both the sites of Pompeii and Herculaneum, and giggled muchly at all the Roman images of penises (surely penii in Latin?) to be found in the remains. However, my greatest exposure to Italian culture was on the Isle of Capri. There, amongst the remains of Tiberius' villa Jovis and the whole history of Magna Graeca I felt compelled to worship the heights of Italian artistic achievement. Namely Gucci shoes and Prada handbags. And Dolce & Gabbana dresses. I'm pretty certain Nick Rhodes would feel the same.



Today I was sat contemplating the view of Vesuvius from the hotel swimming pool. I was thinking idly about how cool it would be to see Vesuvius explode (from a safe distance) but how it might be significantly less cool for the 700,000 people who live in the direct fallout zone from any eruption. At that moment a very familiar and well loved sound started over the music system. It was the haunting introduction to 'Save a Prayer'. A perfect soundtrack to any sunbathing/ mass destruction by lava incident - why? Listen to the lyrics...

If you can, you'll see the world in all his fire

Take a chance

(Like all dreamers can't find another way)

You don't have to dream it all, just live a day

Don't say a prayer for me now,

Save it 'til the morning after

No, don't say a prayer for me now,

Save it 'til the morning after

Save it 'til the morning after,

Save it till the morning after

I only they'd had Duran Duran in AD79.....

Happy International Duran Duran Appreciation day.

Heck, isn't every day?





By the way, I'm writing this in January and scheduling it for August 10th just in case I'm too overwhelmed by emotion / alcohol / Roger to post.

Drumming up support

In the 1980s there were some huge disasters: Chernobyl, the famine in Ethiopia and Flock of Seagulls. You can imagine the international disaster committee's consternation - what should be done? Well, clearly there was only one answer. Duran Duran were called in to save the world. The first question was how to prevent people all over the world from being contaminated by the nuclear fallout from Chernobyl? The answer, simple. Nick Rhodes led by example donning a white suit (proven to repel any plutonium residues) and John Taylor inspiring the world to protect themselves from black rain by the simple solution of wearing a trilby over a massive mullet. And so, the world lived another day.

Secondly, Duran Duran single mindedly ended all famine (well, not quite) by being leaders of the free world. Uniting the world in song. They sang 'Feed the World' and the world was fed. Amply fed. Look at pictures of Simon le Bon from about 1986 if you need any proof. In my local museum there is a whole wing dedicated to this. Ok, maybe it's one leaflet. But still.

However, for a few traumatic hours in 1985 the entire world was on tenterhooks. Ask anyone what they remember about 1985 and their response is almost certain to be - wondering whether Simon le Bon was going to be saved from his capsized sailing ship, Drum. I believe that the UN was convened that night and whichever pontiff was Top of the Popes at the time was asked to intercede with the Boss. And if Bruce Springsteen was busy, maybe the deity? And if Nick Rhodes was busy ... (ok, I'll stop now). Anyway, Simon was saved. As was the world.

And now, ever one to laugh in the face of danger and Slimfast, Simon is trying to save the world again. This time fellow members of the Duran sorority you must be ready for Sunday 8th March 2009, 10pm BBC2 'High Altitude' where Simon Le Bon and his brother Jonny, will visit a frozen lake in Sweden in a quest for sailing supremacy - on ice. They will fly across the ice on catamarans at speeds of up to 100kph in an exhilarating - and potentially very dangerous competition. Why, you ask? Well clearly, the apocalyptic ice age demonstrated by The Day After Tomorrow is about to happen and Simon's been shoed in to find a way to fight the freeze.

Duran Duran save the world. Again.